Losing and Finding My Faith

In this week’s podcast episode, I share the ins and outs of how I lost my faith in God and the Guides this year. Yes, I am a spiritual healer. My whole job in life is to translate the Guides’ words to others, lead others towards healing themselves with the power of Source and their Guides. My whole job in life is to generally be the expert when it comes to transmitting messages from the beyond.

What was it like to lose my faith? Scary! No haunted house could ever compare!

I learned a lot as I picked myself up and dusted myself off. I had to finally ask for help, actual help from human beings sent by Source to help me. I had to find a supportive medication to help me calm down. I had to hear such complete miracles from Source and the Guides that I could no longer deny their existence.

I remember laying in bed one night after I had heard the news that four of my favorite humans were sick and just wondering how there could be a God if this is what was happening all over the world. In my previous career, I worked  in countries that had just experienced war, famine, natural disasters. I worked with people who wanted to share their last morsels of food with me. And yet I had the worst attitude I had ever seen.

And then the self-hatred and self-doubt began. Have you ever experienced this? It just made me sink lower and lower down the spiral of shame and sadness.

I tried to sleep, but it was basically useless. I tried to meditate, but it all felt wrong.

I finally got up and started making tea, hoping I could watch TV until I fell back to sleep.

Instead, I sat down with my cup of tea and started to see bright lights in front of me. I saw purple and blue light flash before my front door. I decided to follow the lights and see what was outside. I walked outside, in my pajamas, and saw a cardinal and a butterfly at the same time.

What are the chances of seeing a cardinal in southern California at 2am? Flying next to a butterfly?

This was just one of the signs that the Guides sent me restore my faith.

Cardinals have always been my sign of my grandfather, a major source of unconditional love in my life when he was alive. Butterflies, as I have shared so often, represent my best friend and soulmate Ruthie who passed in 2017.

Did I go back inside and immediately get back to my life of faith?


It took several more months for me to feel like my faith had been restored, and countless more miracles that positively impacted the world to feel like God WAS a thing, and that the Guides are here to help.

I’m so grateful to have found my lost faith, but it took Earth time, help from my mentor, a supportive medication and my daily practice of Transformational Healing to get there. If you have lost your faith, I understand. It’s terrifying. If you are recovering from this, I am with you too. And if you want some help with your faith, communicating with your Guides, or even just getting back to being a human after the craziest two years we have ever lived through as a society, book a session with me here.

All of my love to you.

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